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Old 08-14-2012, 07:30 PM   #1 (permalink)
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You might be a sledneck if...

I found these on The Ski Whiz Rescue Mission:

Enjoy!

-
These are some of the hundreds of ‘Slednecks’ I have posted over the years on Bull Sessions. Enjoy.

If old pre-mix is good enough for your wife’s car but not your snowmobile, you might be a sledneck.

If you can identify snowmobile parts at a swap meet by part number from 30 feet away, you might be a sledneck.

If you can actually correctly jet a Mikuni, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever called a fellow sledneck at midnight because you just found a sled he wanted, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever left the house at 2:00am to be first at some guys house on a Saturday morning, to buy a snowmobile without a motor, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever advertized on the internet for a rare sled part and then found one in your own basement, you might be a sledneck.

If you have an arrangement with the UPS guy for a secret drop off spot, you might be a sledneck.

If you have a parts catalog at work disguised as a phonebook, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever crossed the US/Canada border and two timezones to buy a completely trashed snowmobile, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever been on a sled buying trip on Valentines Day, your wife’s birthday or your anniversary, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever taken your vacation in February and not gone to Florida, you might be a sledneck.

If all your buddies sled communicators are attached to their helmets, while your’s is firmly attached to the middle of your right hand, you might be a sledneck.

If you can fix a Keihin carburator with your gloves on, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever made a carb spring out of ball point pen parts, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever rebuilt a recoil on your desk at work, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever cut a hole in a fiberglass hood to clear an expansion chamber, you might be a sledneck.

If your neighbor calls the cops when you take the kids for a sled ride on Saturday morning [6:00am Saturday morning], you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever physically threatened the code enforcement officer over the sled stuff in your front yard, you might be a sledneck.

If you traded your ’83 Camaro for a ’79 K1500 and a ’69 Oly with no carb so you could go riding, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever put a sign on your buddies back that said “I collect SnoGhia”, you might be a sledneck.

If you understand why this stuff is funny……. you ARE a sledneck.

If you’ve ever run the skis of your snowmobile through the back of your pickup cab while loading your snowmobile off a snowbank, you might be a sledneck.

If you can ride your machine with only one ski, you might be a sledneck.

If you own more sled trailers than you have tow vehicals, you might be a sledneck.

If you can get three snowmobiles in the back of your pick-up, you might be a sledneck.

If all your sleds are undercover while your riding tractor sits outside in the snow, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever brought a snowmobile home in the trunk of your car, you might be a sledneck.

If you stop the gas pump at the exact gallon, so your pre-mix comes out perfect, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever used your snowblower to spread out the snow on your lawn for one last spring ride, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever driven to the airport to buy sled fuel, you might be a sledneck.

If you measure your oil in a graduated glass beaker ‘left over’ from your high school science class, you might be a sledneck.

If you went to your 20th high school reunion and spent 3 hours reliving all those old sled stories, you might be a sledneck.

If you went to your 20th high school reunion and spent 3 hours telling your old sled buddies about restoring that very same snowmobile you all rode as kids, you might be a sledneck.

If you went to your 20th high school reunion and someone brought you snowmobile parts, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever ‘experimented’ with alcohol, lacquer thinner or any other ‘fuel additives’, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever had to rebuild your carbs after a fuel ‘experiment’, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever had a headache for 3 days after a fuel ‘experiment’, you might be a sledneck.

If your parents ever made you remove the snowmobile/snowmobile parts from your bedroom, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever replaced every cleat on a 17″ Arctic Cat Panther track with a hand Pop-Rivit gun, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever replaced every cleat on a 17″ Panther track in your bedroom, you might be a sledneck.

If you got you first sled ride when you were 11 and haven’t thought about anything else in the last 34 years since, you might be a sledneck.

If you want to buy an Alpine just so you can ride it around the backyard, you might be a sledneck.

If you ask your wife to tow you around the yard on one of those ‘flying sauser’ sleds behind the snowmobile, just to allow you to relive a childhood memory, you might be a sledneck.

If your snowmobile recovery vehical is equipped with a chain, a calf puller and a chainsaw, you might be a sledneck.

If your current restoration is older than your youngest child, you might be a sledneck.

If your shop dog is named Thunderjet, you might be a sledneck.

If your son says ‘That flexpipe doesn’t look original.’ while you walk through a snowmobile show and swapmeet, you might be a sledneck.

If your shop dog has ever growled at you for bringing home a yellow snowmobile, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever stepped off the running board of your sled and sank neck deep into powder, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever sang: ‘I’m gonna miss her…. when I get home….’ while on a sledscapade with your best sled buddies, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever told your lawyer: ‘Forget the house, but she’s NOT getting my sleds.’, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever made out a will specifically to prevent your greasy brother-in-law from EVER getting his hands on your 80 SnoPro, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever rebuilt the back wall of the garage because you forgot to check for a sticky throttle before pulling the cord, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever stripped to your skivvies on the front step so you won’t stink up the house before your wife’s dinner party, you might be a sledneck.

If your shop dog is the first one to ride with you around the house after first snow, you might be a sledneck.

If your son has ever dared you to drive your sled full throttle over his snowman, you might be a sledneck.

If you have a picture of yourself riding over the top of a ’73 Dodge Polara on your Ski Whiz… , you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever laid on your back in the snow to take pictures of your friend jumping a 70 SnoJet off a 6ft snowbank, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever laughed so hard you couldn’t breathe, retelling the story about your friend forgeting to let go after falling off his skis while you towed him 2 miles behind a snowmobile, you might be a sledneck.

If you agree to go to the fabric shop with your wife, just so you can check out their supply of cold weather vinyl, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever bought really cheap snowtires for your truck so you could buy a really expensive snowmobile track, you might be a sledneck.

If you know the paintcodes for every year snowmobile ever made, you might be a sledneck.

If you had ever tried to make an expansion pipe from scratch, you might be a sledneck.

If you can identify every brand of snowmobile in the movie ‘Snowball Express’, you might be a sledneck.

If you can’t wait to get home to type some more ‘you might be a sledneck’ ideas on this forum, you might be a sledneck.

If you have a Craftsman wrench ‘custom’ bent specifically to remove the carb on a Rotax single, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever loaded a 500lb snowmobile into a pickup truck by yourself, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever spent 3 hours removing the remains of a mouse nest from the fins of your engine with a needle nose pliers, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever tried starting an engine, out of the sled, by standing on the motor plate, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever removed the door stops from your basement door so it would be wide enough to let you put a sled inside, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever left on a roadtrip to buy a sled and came home with two or more machines, you might be a sledneck.
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Old 08-14-2012, 07:31 PM   #2 (permalink)
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If you’ve ever spent three weeks tracking down some 80 year old woman because her husband sold snowmobiles in the late ’60s, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever fallen through the floor in a hayloft while looking at an old snowmobile, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever hauled old sleds in a horse trailer, you might be a sledneck.

If you remove the hood from your snowmobile to allow better cooling, you might be a sledneck.

If your first ride on a snowmobile was riding three-up on a 67 Olympic, you might be a sledneck.

If you think Ebay is a great way to meet new sled buddies, you might be a sledneck.

If your shop is so crowded with sleds and parts you can’t walk through it without cutting your legs to shreds, you might be a sledneck.

If you have charge accounts at two different decal shops, you might be a sledneck.

If you have your own key to your favorite parts store, you might be a sledneck.

81. If you could have rebuilt an engine in the time you spent typing ‘slednecks’, you might be a sledneck.

If your Christmas list includes used snowmobile parts, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever traded a twin cylinder engine for two single cylinder engines, you might be a sledneck.

If you mow a ten acre field all summer, in the hopes you will find that part that fell off your sled last winter, you might be a sledneck.

If you carry a list of part numbers needed to finish that restoration at all times, you might be a sledneck.

If you can spot mistakes in the Parts Unlimited catalog, you might be a sledneck.

If you took every snowmobile book out of the library at least three times as a kid, you might be a sledneck.

If there is a stack of old sled catalogs, magazines and service manuals next to your ‘throne’, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever written an angry letter to the animators of Scooby Doo, complaining about how they draw a snowmobile, you might be a sledneck.

If you wish you could buy a new pair of Moonboots, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever used your wife’s electric knife to carve a new seat foam, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever received a call from your wife, telling you to grab the checkbook and get your A$$ to the next town over because there is a Rupp Nitro for sale beside the road on the way to the mall, She ain’t a sledneck but she loves one…………

If you have a microfiche reader and a complete set of microfiche for your favorite brand, you might be a sledneck.

If you are looking for six other Polari-natics to split the cost of making a hood mold with you, you might be a sledneck.

If you know the difference between Paraslide I II and III, you might be a sledneck.

If you debate the advantages of various CAD programs while discussing reproducing free air cylinder heads, you might be a sledneck.

If you charge up condensors and leave them on the work bench to shock your sled buddies, you might be a sledneck.

If you have a scheduled shop session the same night every week, you might be a sledneck.

If you had to padlock the fridge on your shop so your sledding buddies would help finish a sled project before they cracked a cold one, you might be a sledneck.

If there’s a couch and recliner in your shop, you might be a sledneck.

If all your snowmobiles have names like Big Sid, you might be a sledneck.

If your sled buddies are tired of discussing how you want to weld two cranks together to make a 4 cylinder engine, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever installed a motorcycle engine in a snowmobile, you might be a sledneck.

If your shop dog has his own recliner, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever tried to repair a plastic fuel tank, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever owned a sled rewired with lampcord and duct tape, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever made your girlfriend purr while making love on a Arctic Cat, you might be a sledneck.

If you have snowmobile business cards with an emergency number on them, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever put muffler bandage on an e’lan muffler, you might be a sledneck.

If you have a secret formula for aluminum cleaner, you might be a sledneck.

If you can’t sleep because it just started snowing for the first time this season, you might be a sledneck.

If ‘Da Yoopers’ is your favorite singing group, you might be a sledneck.

If you wish you had a shop [or a shop dog], you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve owned the same sled three different times, you might be a sledneck.

If you have a red snowmobile just so you can ride in a Santa suit, you might be a sledneck.

If you write down ‘slednecks’ on the back of an old envelope while driving to work, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever cut down a Kenworth mudflap for your snowmobile, you might be a sledneck.

If you had a snowmobile with a CB radio, you might be an old sledneck.

If you ever shoveled off a pond so you could do donuts on your snowmobile, you might be a sledneck.

If your favorite riding gear is a 25 year old Arctic Cat Jacket, you might be a sledneck.

If you have a snowmobile lawn ornament, you might be a sledneck.

If you have a snowmobile track doormat, you might be a sledneck.

If more than half of the photos of you riding a snowmobile feature a sled with no hood, you might be a sledneck.

If you get pi$$ed off when Sled Ed wrecks another running vintage sled, you might be a sledneck.

If you wish Red Green was your neighbor, so it would be easy to borrow duct tape, you might be a sledneck.

If your buddies all ride sleds with GPS while you still ride with a CB radio, you might be a sledneck.

If you have a Hirth powered snowblower, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever found a broken recoil and a $10 bill on your doorstep, you might be a sledneck.

If you pronounce ‘Bombardier’ BOMB-BA-DEER instead of BOM-BAR-DE-AY, you might be a sledneck.

If it takes you an extra hour driving to work on recycling day, just so you won’t miss a junk sled by the curb, you might be a sledneck.
If you have never had a sled with a working ignition switch or headlight, you might be a sledneck

If you’ve ever ridden a sled for twenty miles wearing Levis, a wool sweater,and packboots, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever strung Christmas lights on a snowmobile, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve had the same set of expansion chambers on three different sleds, you might be a sledneck.

If more than half your ‘slednecks’ are true stories, you might be a sledneck.

If you can’t sleep because you keep coming up with ‘slednecks’, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever tried belt dressing on a snowmobile belt, you might be a pretty stupid sledneck.

If you’ve ever spent three hours removing belt dressing from your clutches, you might be a ‘experienced’ sledneck.

If you’ve ever ridden beside a buddy and given his kill switch a whack on the way past, you might be a sledneck.

If you’re friends nicknamed you ‘Foxworthy’, you might be a sledneck.

If you put on your snowmobile jacket for the first time this season and find that part you have been looking for all summer, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever removed the belt from a buddies sled, just for laughs, while he was in the bar having ‘one more for the road’, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever convinced a sleddin’ buddy to try moving a snowmobile without a carb by squirting a shot of gas directly into the manifold, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever pi$$ed yourself laughing after your friend tried the aforementioned stunt, you might be a sledneck.

If your snowmobile has 6000 miles on it and has never been out of sight of your house, you might be a sledneck.

If all your vehicals and snowblowers have blue urethane fuel lines, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever written ‘ Ariens Rules ‘ in the mud on the tailgate of your truck, you might be a sledneck.

If you know exactly how much a Red Baron weighs, you might be a sledneck.

If your first sled came from Sears, you might be a sledneck.

If all your sled trips end up sounding like that Ray Stevens song, ‘The Mississippi Squirrel Revival’ , you might be a sledneck.

If you ever had a sled with a hand painted cartoon character on it, you might be a sledneck.

If you have more sleds than you can count on both hands and both feet, all the same brand, you might be a sledneck.

If your parts room has more than three 55 gallon drums full of sled parts, you might be a sledneck.

If you estimate your parts inventory in tons, you might be a sledneck.

If you take a full pick-up truck to the swapmeet, and it only contains parts that you have at least three duplicates of at home, you might be a sledneck.

If you have a bootleg copy of ‘It Ain’t Easy’ , you might be a sledneck.

If your shop has a seperate ‘clean’ room for engine assembly, you might be a sledneck.

If your fiancée asks you to stop working on your sleds a week before the wedding, so there won’t be dirt under your fingernails, you might be a sledneck.

If your tools outweigh your pick-up truck, you might be a sledneck.
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Old 08-14-2012, 07:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
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If your only chance to own a new sled is by winning a snowmobile club raffle, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever installed a ‘new’ seat on your sled and it involved a milk crate and two rubber bungie cords, you might be a sledneck.

If as a kid, you could tell what brand of machine passed through your yard by looking at the pattern of the tracks it left, you might be a sledneck.

If you wish Discovery Channel would feature a custom sled builder instead of one of the current chopper shows, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever needed a scuba diver to retrieve your snowmobile, you might be a sledneck.

If you ever selected a snowmobile based on how well it pulled an ice shanty, you might be a sledneck.

If your son has ever said: ‘ You got some totally rad air that time, dad!! ‘ , you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever tried skiing down hill by standing on a pair of old Olympic skis, you might be a sledneck.

If you enjoy towing your kids uphill on their sleds for four hours on a Saturday morning, you might be a sledneck.

If cutting your own Christmas tree involves a 35 minute sled ride, you might be a sledneck.

If you miss the days when Cats were black, Polaris’ were white and Ski-Doos were yellow, you might be a sledneck.

If you can remember the registration numbers of all the sleds your family owned when you were a kid, but can’t remember your wife’s birthday, you might be a sledneck.

If you ever borrowed your buddies motorhome for a ‘romantic’ sledding trip with your lady, you might be a sledneck.

If your buddy didn’t mention the fact that the furnace didn’t work in the motorhome, you might be a homicidal sledneck.

If you had to buy a thousand dollars worth of diamonds so your lady wouldn’t leave you after a ‘romantic’ sledding trip , you might be a sledneck.

If you leave a tool catalog on the table with the tools you want for Christmas circled with red marker, you might be a sledneck.

If you know the best thing to “tie the bogies together” with you might be a sledneck.

If you are the only one on the block who’s got a snowmobile with a Chia Seat, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever spent 3 hours grinding a ‘gob’ weld off a muffler so it could be repaired correctly, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever lost a snowmobile on a bet, but after looking it over, the winner decides not to take it, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever used barbed wire to tow a disabled sled home, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever cooked food on a snowmobile engine, you might be a sledneck.

If you’ve ever towed a car with a snowmobile, you might be a sledneck.

If you have three times more engines than you have sleds, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever bought a whole machine just to get a good windshield, you might be a sledneck.
If you’ve ever changed the words to ‘Twas the night before Christmas’ to tell the story of Larry Prestone riding a Rupp, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever mortgaged your house to pay your bill at the chrome shop, you might be a sledneck.
If you have ever given a neighbor kid sled parts free, just because you want to see his sled finally run, you might be a sledneck.

If you ever tried to impress a girl by giving her a ride on the back of your sled [and you honestly thought it would work], you might be a sledneck.

If you were a pioneer in the four stroke revolution and did not know it, you might be a sledneck.

If you ever performed the ski spreader flop and your sled buddies scored you: 9.5 9.0 and 10.0 , you might be a sledneck.

If the only reason you built a cabin was to have a place to keep your sled, you might be a sledneck.

If sharing a pizza and a couple of cold ones in your shop while repairing a classic is more enjoyable than riding modern sleds a hundred miles, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever installed heat exchangers in an e’lan, you might be a sledneck.

If you ever found a snowmobile hood under the Christmas tree, you might be a sledneck.

If you ever bought a free air engine at a garage sale, you might be a sledneck.

If replacing a headlight bulb on your sled requires removing duct tape, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever modified an engine mounting plate because you could not get the proper belt anymore, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever swallowed gas in your rush to fuel up for a night ride, you might be a sledneck.

If you had 7 sleds before you had one with a windshield, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever had the t-shirt shop make up snowmobile racing team shirts for you and your crew, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever spent 3 hours using ‘Paint’ on your computer to modify an avatar that will be too small to see anyway, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever made a set of replacement skis out of a ‘conveniently located’ piece of guardrail, you might be a sledneck.

If your lawn fountain has a sculpture made out of burned up snowmobile pistons, you might be a sledneck

If you’ve ever forgotten to latch the ball on the sled trailer, took a running start and ran a sled up on, only to feel the trailer headed on down the driveway, and out onto the state highway, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever mounted the front axle of your garden tractor to your snowmobile, you might be a sledneck.

If you have ever stepped out of your house after a new snowfall, raised your hands to the sky and praised the God of your choice, you might be a sledneck.

If your wife asked you why you were standing on the front steps of the house in your underwear, praying for more snow, you might be a sledneck.

You might be a sledneck if…. you have ever had to explain to your wife who Lasergal is and why she is e-mailing your seperate snowmobile account. [MF Decals. Why, what did you think?]

You might be a sledneck if…. When you are up at 5:30am typing ‘Slednecks’ when you should be getting ready for a snowmobile show.

You might be a sledneck if…. If you have ever said anything like this to your son: Go down in the basement and look in that box of Scorpion parts for……..

You might be a sledneck if…. If you numbered the draws of your toolboxes so it would be easier for your wife to fetch tools for you.

You might be a sledneck if…. Your best christmas gift was a box of new sparkplugs.

You might be a sledneck if…. You’ve welded up the backs of a set of skis because “They aren’t that bad.”

You might be a sledneck if…. You have a set of pipes that has been on at least six different sleds.

You might be a sledneck if…. The word Hooker means exhaust systems to you.

You might be a sledneck if…. You have parts on your sleds fabricated from beer cans.

You might be a sledneck if…. There is more tape than seatcover on your machine.

You might be a sledneck if…. You can find the gascan with pre-mix in the dark.

You might be a sledneck if…. You’ve ridden till the flashlight batteries ran out.

You might be a sledneck if…. When Don’t Ask Don’t Tell doesn’t have anything to do with the military, it has to do with how much you paid for your latest snowmobile.

You might be a sledneck if…. When every post you read eventually becomes a Johnson joke.

You might be a sledneck if…. When every sled you own has been to the bottom of the lake.

You might be a sledneck if…. When you tell your wife something funny Mr Plow said and she asks: The cartoon one or the real one?

You might be a sledneck if…. When you seek snowmobile advice from someone that lives a 1000 miles away on a daily basis.

You might be a sledneck if…. When you wife asks if she can ride someone elses Johnson, just once, to see what its like….

You might be a sledneck if…. when your wife complains her back hurts from riding someone elses Johnson, and you say: I told you so….

You might be a sledneck if…. When your wife asks you to buy a Johnson of her own, and then asks you to polish it for her.

If you can think of over 200 different sledneck quotes, you might need professional help. Or you can head for the shop for a few hours of the BEST hobby in the world.
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Old 08-15-2012, 12:03 AM   #4 (permalink)
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wow, 28 apply to me.
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Old 10-30-2012, 02:30 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Old 10-30-2012, 04:41 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Nothin better than taking ur parts to work, and getting paid to work on em.
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