you have kids? funny read!!! - Snowmobile Forum: Your #1 Snowmobile Forum

fr0st · 04-21-2006, 07:42 AM

For those with No children -- this is totally hysterical! For those who already have children past this age -- this is hilarious. For those who have children this age -- this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age -- this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children -- this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas: Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.
First grade...true story: One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read,"..And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said...'Holy crap! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

G-ForceJunkie · 04-21-2006, 08:55 AM

so...clorox and brake fluid...does that work? I happen to have both...

Gravity · 04-21-2006, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by fr0st

25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

I'm gonna!!

fr0st · 04-21-2006, 09:20 AM

err i better edit my post and make it 90% ...i forgot i was posting this here to you guys

oh and im trying it tonight too

Fr0st

cowlamb · 04-21-2006, 09:54 AM

let us know, did it work??

fr0st · 04-21-2006, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by cowlamb
let us know, did it work??

tonight as in friday night i will try it.. anyways.. ALOT pf people here will too

i'll put in on a .WMV and give a link to download it

PolarisINDY500 · 04-21-2006, 10:11 AM

that mom sure had her hands full with her kids..

if you guys do decide to try the mixture...yes, im going to try it too...

dont be like those retards who were staindng in a culdisac of a subdivision, and the one dude was shaking a plastic bottle filled with clorene and bleach (i think thats what it was) and the bottle exploded in his hand...that vid was on the internet for a while.

fr0st · 04-21-2006, 10:37 AM

use in open air at atmospheric pressure and temperature...

oh and kids, dont try this at home.. errr no.. wait.. do try.

Fr0st

SnowRida · 04-21-2006, 11:15 AM

If you mix toilet bowl cleaner with aluminum foil in a plastic bottle with the cap on, this creates an explosion. Stand back and you can watch the plastic bottle get bigger and bigger, until it explodes.